Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Wishery (Disney Remix)

my form is my function!

Nathan, at one of the outlying tables
His feet tangled up in the disc jockeys cables
Surveyed the room as unseen as a ghost
While he mulled over what me might say for his toast
Thought the couple had asked him for this benediction
Seemed at odds with them parking him here by the kitchen
Though he turned up at all seemed a surprise
Not just to him, it was there in the eyes of the guests
Who had seen a mirage and drew near
Then covered their shock, with a “… Nathan... you’re here”?
And then silence, they had nothing to say beyond that
A few of the braver souls
Lingered to chat
They all knew, it was neither nor mystery
That he and the couple had quiet an odd history
Their bonds were a tangle of friendship and sex
Josh his best pal once, and Patti, his ex
For a while he could barley go out in the city
Without being a punch line, or object of pity
“Poor Nathan” had virtually become his new name
And so he showed up just to show he was game
Though his invite was late, a forgotten addendum
For Nathan, there could be no more velar referendum
That he need but endure through this evening and then
He would likely not see josh and Patti again
Josh’s sister was speaking, a princess in peach
Nathan dug in his pocket to study his speech
He poured over barteleets for couplets to filch
He stayed up till three still came up with zilch
Except for instructions he’d underscored twice
Just two words in length and those words were; “be nice”
Too often he thought our emotions betray us
And reason departs once were up on the dais
He’d witnessed uncomfortable moments where others had lost their way quickly
Where sisters and brothers had gotten too prickly
And prepped their babbling with stories of benders or lesbian dabbling
Or spot on impressions of mothers-in-laws
In which true Nathan thought always garnered guffaws
The price seemed too high with the laugh seldom cloaking
Hostility, masquerading as joking
No, he’d swallow his rage and bank all his fire
He knew that in his case the bar was set higher
Folks were just waiting for him to erupt
They’d be hungry for blood even though they had supped
They’d want tears or some other unsightly reaction
And Nathan would not give them that satisfaction
Though Patti a harlett, and josh was a lought
At least Nathan knew what he’d not talk about
I won’t wish them divorce, or than they wither and sicken
Or that tonight, that they choke on their salmon or chicken.
I won’t mention that time when the cottage lost power
In that storm on the cape and they left for an hour
And they thought it was just the cleverest roost
Too pretend it took that long to just switch out the fuse
Or that time that josh advised me with so much insistence
That I should grant Patti a little more distance
The worst I could os was hamper and crowd her
That if Patti felt stifled she’d just take a powder
That a plant needs its space just as much as its water
And I shouldn’t give Patti that ring that I’d bought her
Which in retrospect only elicits a gosh,
I hardly deserved a friend like you, Josh.
No I won’t spill those beans or make myself foolish
To satisfy appetites venial and ghoulish
I will not be the blot on this hellish affair
And with that Nathan pushed out and rose from his chair
And just by the tapping of knife against crystal
All eyes turned his way, like he’d fired off a pistol
“Joshua, Patricia, dear family and friends…
A few words if you will, before everything ends.
You’ve promised to honor, to love, and obey
We’ve quaffed our champagne and been cleansed by sorbet
All in endorsement of your ‘hers and his-dom’,
So now let me add my two cents worth of wisdom
I was wracking my brain, sitting here at this table
Until I remembered this suitable fable
That gets at a truth, though it may well destrot us
So here with the tale of the scorpion and the tortoise;
The scorpion was ham strung, his tail all aquiver
Just how would he manage to get across the river?
The waters so deep, he observed with a sigh
Which pricked at the ears of the tortoise nearby
“Well why don’t you swim? Ask the slow moving fellow
“Unless you’re afraid, I mean, what are you, yellow”?
“It isn’t a matter of fear or of whim”
said the scorpion, “But that I don’t know how to swim”
“Ah, forgive me, I didn’t mean to be glib
When I said that I figured you were an amphibian”
“No offense taken,” the scorpion replied,
But how about you help me to reach the far side?
You swim like a dream, and you have what I lack
What say you rake me across on your back”?
“I’m really not sure that that’s the best thing to do”
Sad the tortoise, “now that I see that it’s you.
You’v a less than ideal reputation proceeding
There talk of your victims all poisoned and bleeding
You’re the scorpion and how can I say this? But well,
I just don’t feel safe with you riding my shell
The scorpion replied, “What would killing you prove?
We’d both drown, so tell me how would that behoove me?
To basically die at my very own hand, when all I desire is to be on dry land?”
The tortoise considered the scorpion’s defense
When he gave it some thought it made perfect sense
The niggling voice in his mind he ignored
And he swam to the bank and called out “climb aboard”.
But just a few moments from when they set sail,
The scorpion lashed out with his venomous tail
The tortoise too late understood that he’d blundered
When he felt his flesh stabbed and his carpe sundered
As he fought for his life he said, “Tell me why you have done this? For now we both surely will die!”
“I don’t know!” cried the scorpion,
“You never should you trust a creature like me
Because poison I must
I’d claim some remorse or at least some compunction
But I just can’t help it, my form is my function!”
You thought I would behave like my cousin the crab
But unlike him it is but my nature to stab
The tortoise expired with one final quiver
And then both of them sank, swallowed up by the river.
The tortoise was wrong to ignore all his droughts’
Because in the end friends, our natures will out
Nathan paused, cleared his throat, took a sip of his drink,
He needed these extra few seconds to think
The room had gone frosty, the tension was growing.
Folks wondered precisely where Nathan was going
The prospects of skirting fiasco seemed dim
But what he said next, surprised even him
“So what can we learn from their watery ends?
Is there some lesson on how to be friends?
I think what it means is that central to living a life that is good
Is a life that’s forgiving.
We’re creatures of contact, regardless of whether we kiss or we wound.
Still we must come together
Though it may spell destruction, we still ask for more
Since it beats staying dry but, so lonely on shore
So we make ourselves open, while knowing full well
It’s essentially saying, “please, come here’s my shell”.
Silence, doesn’t paint the depth of quiet in that room
There was no clinking stem wear toasting to the bride or groom
You could have heard a petal as it landed on the floor
And in that stillness, Nathan turned, and walked out the door.