... there's a whole in the wall where I love to watch it all
I was walking down the street's of Saint Germain this afternoon singing that song in my head. I love it so! I am almost finished with the most exellent book; My Family and Other Animals.
I sugjest reading the book first and then seeing the moving - which is faboulous as well.
(my spelling has lost me again tonight)
I sat at my, now, favorite cafe; le crocodile, reading that book and laughing. Really you read it and you can't help but laugh out load... to your self. The oh so gentlmanly server walked by many times and notcied my smiling face yes.
I sit, now, outside on the porch after having a conversation with my mother on the phone and my love, jules. Tonight I feel very good.
I have been having some problems with the kids which I didnt want to mention on here... I wanted to keep up a happy note but I must admit... they are difficult. Could it be the large amounts of surgar intake? je n'ai sais pas... (idontknow).
no they do not listen at all. i had a 'wonderful' walk with them with the other nanny where both of us could not control them AT ALL... well Camille the oldest who adores pestering both her brother and sister and doing what you tell her not to do. She actually was throwing rocks at charlotte while both Vallerie and I told her to stop. Than she contuined even after I told her I would not college with her for a week (which she resposned 'i can college alone' - and yes she will if she wants to I WILL HOLD MY GROUND). And then I had the lovely expirence of having some rocks "inadvertantly" thrown at my feet.
yay
but tonight was different. yes. there was something different I have to admit. I didnt feel like running away and smoking a pack of ciggarettes for the first time. Instead I had an icecream bar and after cleaned the kitched relaxed and phoned mama and jules with a lovely mini bottle of wine and felt calm. (yes you didnt know that i was having wine during that conversation did you mama? HAHAHAHAHAHHA)
chuckle
chuckle
I have been writing in my now 'french journal' for the past few days of my mood. they have been meloncoly and stressed entrys. I was at a loss of what to do... I have been so used to having a sense of control and direction but now in a new place... yes it is so new... the culture the mood the micro scopic everthing is different. I have been having troubles absorbing it and what I am feeling is something so new that I don't know how to cope with it.
Is this normal I ask...
but there is no one to respond.
I find that I need attention... or at least connection.. companionship.
I want to share so much with someone that it is building up.
I have a hard time keeping direction in this entry.
My converstion with mama this evening was the situation here. The original schedual that I understood has change.. what I understood upon coming here was that I wokred monday - firday and had my weekends free. wednesday all day because the kids and I both dont have school. But now; I have wednedays morning and afternoon free and work saturday 8:3o till 1. This is limiting to weekend trips and is hard for me to recouporate from the week and be refreshed in the morning. The family is not organized... and that is an understatement. If you know my mother than you will know the definition of organized (too bad I cannot say to look her up in the dictionary and you will find her... no you will find the defition of organized. but that is my mother). And I am organized in an odd sence...
My mother made a good point that Sarah probably forgot the original agreement which we now have to find and make sure we are correct.
so that is that in a nutshell of our conversation.
Jules and I had a short conversation.. Sarah needed her phone.
But it was a happy and joyful one to say the least. I thought I could possibly reach her because she is a nanny for a sweet baby boy named... well we call him moe. I heard his sweet chimes of hello in the background. I am happy to hear that she misses me as much as I miss her.
It would be nice to be able to call other but once my internet is consisitent (which will be soon yes) I will have more consisent contact.
So this is my post for the time that i have found internet.
I just looked around and found that I am completely in the dark and if you know me... I am not a fan of the dark (my going away surprise party can prove this...)
oh yes and my toushie is num
So now I go to my room to college my album that is almost done!
I will probably watch Diva. - you should watch that movie. it is a very good movie and now that I am in franch I see that it is a very good depiction of french...ness.
oui
oui
oui
i love you all so much
thanks for reading my stuff
love love love
beacoup love
a.
nnie
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